Why the hell not.
So I found the the document I had been using to write drafts of blogs for this and didn’t realize that I hadn’t posted any of them.
Here is a cynical one about living in a city. It’s alright. But I do genuinely like the line about not going anywhere because “your cats would miss you.” Enjoy.
You know when you visit “downtown” in a really cool city, let’s say THE city, New York, and you’re walking around looking at all the cute little boutiques and snazzy little cafes and watching all the chic people shopping at these cute little boutiques and dining at these snazzy little cafes, and you think to yourself “MAN, it would be so awesome to live in a city like this!”
You’re wrong.
All those “chic” people that you are admiring are either a) tourists, b) ridiculously wealthy, or c) all of the above. They are not you if you lived in a city. You if you lived in a city would be, first and foremost, broke. You would live slightly outside of this happening downtown scene, in a neighborhood considered by those who live there to be “decent” but to everyone else as “I think we made a wrong turn” or “well, this sure is off the beaten path…”(and probably not in a good way). When you are not working (if you have a job) you spend most of your time at home or at least within a 3-block radius of home. The only “boutiques” you go to are CVS and you don’t go to any cafes because you have a tea kettle, a stove and the Internet at home. And your cats would miss you. (Yes, whether you actually own cats or not, at least one cat is dependent on you.)
Sure, you live close enough to the happening downtown to go visit at any time, but why bother? You are not going to shop in the cute little boutiques. There are only so many times in your life when you will be in need of a vintage apron, and you can’t afford anything there anyway, so even just window shopping is more likely to be a depressing reminder that you are poor than a “fun foray into city living.” Sure those snazzy little cafes ARE snazzy (and little) but a cup of coffee is a cup of coffee and you can get one of those at the Dunkin Donuts around the corner from your house. Fine dining? Really? Why are you doing this to yourself?
Your meals come from one of three places: your perpetually understocked fridge/pantry, a street food truck, or whatever you can salvage from people’s plates at the fine dining restaurant where you bus tables (because you WILL work at a restaurant at some point [if not all points...] in your city life).
…and it just kind of ends there. I guess I never actually finished it. And I’m not going to now.
I’m sorry…
But this has to be said:
Cats licking their sphincters is THE most disgusting thing….EVER.
Other thoughts for the day:
Jon Stewart is brilliant.
Craigslist is great but enormously frustrating.
Servers and their patrons will ALWAYS hate each other.
Dryers are superior to air drying in every way except energy efficiency.
If you can’t say something out loud, don’t type it.
So I have noticed two recent trends in netspeak: “ruh roh” ala scooby doo (I guess?) and “nom nom” (meaning “yum”)
FYI, I completely and utterly loathe “nom nom.” If I meet someone, and they seem cool, and then I find them on facebook or something and discover that that person has publicly used this expression…yes, I will think less of them.
“ruh roh” I am not quite as opposed to, but like most netspeak, I will never use it. I just don’t think I ever could and still take myself seriously.
Like “lol.” Never use it. Never have. Never will.
This is why. When I read things, I imagine the author saying those things to me. I would NEVER say “ruh roh” or “nom nom” (or “lol”) out loud, and (I think/hope) most people that type those things wouldn’t either. The thought of hearing those “words” come out of anyone’s mouth makes me uncomfortable. And I can’t help but imagine it being said when I read it.
Ick.
uuuuuuugggghhhhh
well, getting someone to take over my lease is indeed turning into the nightmare I thought it would be.
QUESTION
You’re at the grocery store.
You are buying a gallon of milk.
Some of the brands have this label on them:
“This milk was produced with the use of rBGH, a hormone that has been linked to an increased risk of cancer in humans. This hormone also causes infections to the udders of cows, increasing the use of antibiotics and potentially creating trace amounts of pus in the milk”
Other brands are labeled “rBGH Free,” but cost up to twice as much.
The truth is, you already make this decision. While there is no labeling this explicit on milk (agribusiness has successfully fought against it), generally, you can assume that conventional milk does contain rBGH, and organic milk doesn’t. So keep this in mind when choosing between more expensive organic milk, or cheaper conventional milk.
Oh, and if you are not entirely convinced of the dangers or rBGH, I think it is worth noting that the use of rBGH has been banned in the European Union, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and Japan.
Songs that will ALWAYS make me happy:
“September” by Earth, Wind & Fire
“Train in Vain” by The Clash
I’m not saying I’m a genius, but I AM smarter than an Apple “Genius”
So, after my computer started acting up and there appeared to be nothing I could do about it, I brought it to the apple store today for a consultation with an alleged “Genius.” Ten minutes later his diagnosis was “dying hard drive.”
I can believe that. My computer is old, probably well beyond its unreasonably short life expectancy (c’mon Apple! I know you are paving the way in new technologies, but I’ll be most impressed when you make a product that lasts more than a few years). But I still didn’t believe that there wasn’t at least a short term remedy to get it in working order again. (i.e. something to prevent me from having to buy a new hard drive [or new computer!] TODAY)
So after after a significant amount of “fiddling around” (and UNinstalling the latest version of iTunes, thank you very much), the problem SEEMS to be fixed.
SUCK IT APPLE.
cat vs. human
So I am trying to “train” the cat not jump on my bed or into may lap while I am on my computer. So every time the cat jumps, I promptly remove her. The thinking is, eventually, she will realize that this is going to happen every time she jumps up, and so eventually will stop.
I’ve done it about 100 times so far, and she still doesn’t seem to be catching on.
Then it occurred to me, what if SHE is trying to train ME. What if she is thinking, “I am going to keep jumping up there every time she kicks me off, and surely, eventually, she will realize this is going to happen every time, and just stop kicking me off.”
social experiment idea!
go out in a big city and give money to EVERY bum/crazy person/artist asking and see how much money you spend.
I’m betting it’d be about a couple hundred dollars in New York City.
What has my life come to??
Day 2 with no Internet at home…it BLOWS. luckily I am sort of out of my slump, otherwise I probably would have ACTUALLY died by now.
But seriously, my days revolve around being online, surfing and reading news and constantly updating facebook and Twitter. Now I just don’t know what to with myself.
Maybe this is for the best, it’s probably not healthy to be online that much; but dammit, I’ve got episodes of the daily show to watch!
Also, thank god I have my iPhone or this would trulybe unbearable; for PRACTICAL reasons, thank you very much. I have begun hunting for someone to take over my lease and I NEED to be checking my email constantly.
